Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
