is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
