insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize