Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
