just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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