but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
