The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
