Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize