Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently you make a good broom.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
