): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
