Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
