Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
