I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
