I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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