my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
