Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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