I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
