we have officially lost it.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
