Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
