im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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