we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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