i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
