I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
