Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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