Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
