you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
