does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
