I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
