He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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