Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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