I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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