Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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