I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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