he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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