I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Everclear isn't food dammit
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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