Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
