Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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