um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
