im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
