yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
