I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
