So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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