We're facebook friends in real life
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
