3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
