any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
