why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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