You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
