I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
