Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
