Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
