is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
