i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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