Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
