how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
