Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
