Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
